I’m a bad man

I’ve mentioned before that I work for a cable company.  From time to time, various television channels will send promo toys to us to thank us for carrying them (or to bribe us to not drop them).  These promo’s go straight to the marketing department, but the marketing department always makes sure that IT gets some of the stuff since they know how much time we spend keeping the whole sha-bang up and running.

Most of the marketing team is female and they all have a pretty good sense of humor.

Anyway, today, they brought us something… it’s hard to describe and it was impossible for me to keep my mouth shut.  One of the premium movie channels sent them some pens.  Now, I don’t know if it was intentional or accidental, but these pens (and forgive the crudeness, but it is the absolute truth) look shockingly like a plastic dildo.  What’s more, when you push a button on the side, the damn thing starts vibrating like mad and a marquee at the top scrolls around and says, “Just our way of saying ‘Thank you.’”

So, this girl (who I know very well, so she knows full well I wasn’t being inappropriate or harrassing towards her in any way) hands me this pen and shows me what it does.  All the while, she is looking a bit sheepish so I know she had had the same thoughts.  If she hadn’t had that look on her face that screamed, “He’s going to say something… I know he is,” I probably would have bitten my tongue.

But, she had the look.

She clicks the button, the “pen” starts vibrating hard enough to rattle my teeth and the marquee says it’s thing.  I look up at her, smile, and say, “Cool!  Where is the man’s version?”

I didn’t think a human being could actually get that red.

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

I rolled out of bed this morning at 5 as I do every day.  I was feeling exhausted and worn down, but I was so excited to get up and get the day going.  Fridays are always great days and the Friday where you start vacation… well, how could you go wrong?

I went into the other room and spent an hour doing my morning workout and then I checked the clock.  I was going to end up with some spare time, so I jumped into EQ2 real quick to check and see if any of my auctions had sold overnight.  I sold a couple of things, so I put a couple more things up for sale and logged off.

With a spring in my step that can only be born of knowing I was just a few hours from vacation, I jumped into the shower and got ready for work.  By 7:15, I was heading out the door.  I figured I was running so far ahead of schedule that I would stop off and buy breakfast for myself and my co-workers and get some work done before the building really came to life.

All I knew was that it was going to be a great day!

Until…

I started up my truck and flipped the radio over to the station I enjoy listening to in the mornings.  I was a quarter of a mile down the road when the DJ destroyed my mood.  “Good Thursday morning, everyone.”

WHAT???  THURSDAY?!?!?

I pulled over and flipped open my work cell phone to check.  Sure enough… Thursday.

I sat on the side of the road kicking the floorboard and cursing at the phone for a good 10 minutes before I turned around and drove back home.  I had just enough time to change my clothes (they frown on casual dress and baseball caps when it isn’t Friday) and get to the office.

It was going to be such a good Friday.  I have a feeling that it is going to be a fairly piss-poor Thursday though.