Juggling chainsaws… blindfolded

I’m not exactly sure why this thought came to mind today, but I just keep coming back to it.  Off and on this morning, I’ve been trying to think of something to write about, but this is the idea that just won’t go away… and quite frankly, I don’t want to write about it.  It isn’t because I don’t care.  It’s more because I honestly don’t think that I can do it justice.

Today, Grimwell almost apologetically mentioned that he had a couple of new interviews out on various sites.  Several months ago, Sanya (aka Tweety) introduced her new site called Eating Bees… a reference to a Penny Arcade strip commenting on the life of a community manager.  Brenlo comments on it in his “About Me” section… and you see it more and more.

Gamers (not all… just the most vocal) are mean, bitter, often hateful, spiteful… there simply aren’t enough words to describe.  Many forums drip with vitriol and every announcement, no matter how good, is met with peasants waving pitchforks demanding that the damned witches be burned.  I remember during my early days of MMO playing, communities were mostly nice and helpful to each other.  Now, any question or comment will be flamed into oblivion rather than taken for what it is worth.  The forum trolls and childish mentalities have taken over the spotlight so strongly that you have to wonder how some in the industry make it through the day without frequent stops at the local pub for another round of pain killer.

So, while these thoughts were bouncing around in my head, I started thinking about the five absolute worst positions associated with MMO’s.  This list will be incomplete as there are many things that go on behind the scenes that I am not aware of I am sure.  These are just the ones that came readily to mind.

5) Guild leaders.  This got the number 5 position because, obviously, this is not a real job.  It is just a player who wanted to lead a guild.  Still, having been a guild leader, I can assure you that I never want this job again.

As a guild leader, especially if you are the founder of the guild, you want to gather a bunch of like-minded individuals around you so that you can maximize the enjoyment of your time online as well as meeting the goals for yourself and those who are taking this journey with you.  In the beginning, all is well.

Things go downhill as time moves forward.  Inevitably, more people will join the guild.  As the guild leader, you are the ultimate hero or villain.  It is either your laid back attitude that let someone into the guild or your tight-assed policies that kept someone out.  When someone quits the guild, it is because you weren’t active enough, you didn’t lead enough raids, you didn’t let their friend into the guild or you played favoritism to the people who had been with you for years rather than the person who joined 2 days ago.  It is never their fault for being a loot whore who dropped after the first raid because they didn’t get everything they were after.

Most guild leaders pour their heart and soul into the guild.  Most want to make everyone happy (an impossible task) and most want to make everyone feel included.  One of my closest in game friends from years ago was my guild leader.  Her husband, who was also in the guild, used to chat with me in tells all the time upset because his wife was sitting beside him crying hysterically because of some dispute within the guild or because someone had left over a loot dispute or because someone had attacked her because they didn’t get their way.

When things go right with the guild, it is always the guild that takes credit.  When things go wrong, the guild leader is always the scapegoat.

4) Developers.

These guys get a lot of abuse, but they get the #4 position because their abuse is more or less indirect.  They don’t have a lot of direct interaction with the community so they don’t get it direct, but you know that they read the boards.  When they have poured their heart and soul into a specific zone, quest line or something else and it is immediately shredded and their work labled as incompetant, you know that has to hurt.

3) Numbers 3 and 2 are actually interchangable because both probably get the lion’s share of abuse from the community.

GM’s.

Having spent some time in early EQ as a guide, I have a rough idea of the amount of abuse that GM’s get.  Even worse, probably 1 in every 10 tickets is actually legitimate.  Most are comprised of petty crap from someone who is a member of the “I am entitled to” generation.  “I’m a dumbass and deleted my epic.  Give it back to me.”  “I’m a dumbass and thought I could solo that boss mob and couldn’t.  Give me a rez.”  “I’m a dumbass and unplugged my computer and died.  Fix me.”  Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee.

Then, when they don’t get what they want, the flaming starts.  It starts with hateful tells and zone shouts and then spills over on to the boards where the GM is villified as the anti-christ for not immediately dropping what they were doing and giving you what you want because mommy and daddy always told you that you deserved the world.

They also always get abuse for the response time.

Think about that for a minute.  You have 1 GM working a server housing thousands.  Do you honestly believe that yours is the one and only petition in the queue?  Do you honestly think that they saw your name and decided to make you wait because they thought it would be funny?

People seem to think that they are the only people in the world and that the rest of the world is there to service their every whim.

2) Community relations people.

I made it a practice long ago to quit going to official message boards.  The last time that I actively kept up with an official message board was about 6 months after the NGE went live in SWG.  Every single time a red name (community relations person) posted anything on the message boards, no matter how helpful, polite, and meaningful it was, that post was flooded and swamped within seconds with people spewing hate and calling them every name they could think of.  I always envisioned 5 year olds rapidly switching between the SWG boards and Google looking up every swear word in the English language and mixing it in with dewd speak… you know… to really get their point across.  Because, you know, nothing speaks of intelligence more loudly than someone who can’t actually speak in real sentences.

1) John Smedley.

He gets the catagory all to himself.  Why?

Well, he is (to the best of my limited knowledge) the only game company head who actually puts himself out there on a fairly regular basis.  He does interviews.  He posts on message boards (from time to time).  He delivers press releases.  He stands up at conventions and fan faires.

No matter what he says, no matter how he says it, and no matter what the message is, he is wrong/an idiot/out of touch/whatever.  Splash John Smedley’s name on ANYthing and the trolls and haters come flocking like ants to honey.

And you know what?  No matter how much hate is thrown his way, no matter how many mean-spirited things are said about him, no matter how viscious the attacks are, he always responds calmly and with grace.  He never shoots back.  People will say all the time that he acts in an unprofessional manner, but their argument is based solely upon the fact that he didn’t say what they wanted to hear.

Let’s imagine, for a moment, that you are a banker.  Some poorly dressed schlub who is hardly able to speak in complete sentences and who insults you every other word walks up to your desk and says, “I’ve been a customer of this bank for 5 years.  Every month, without fail, I have deposited $15 into an account.  That makes me a dedicated customer.  I demand a better interest rate, I demand an interest-free loan, and I demand that you make yourself available to me 24/7.  If I call, I don’t want to have to wait while you work with another customer.  You deal with me first because I am the most important person you’ve got.”

Imagine how you would react to that.  Imagine how you would feel if, upon explaining to the customer that you are bound by the laws of the Federal Reserve, that he started screaming at you, cursing you out, calling you names and threatening you.  How would you feel?

“But, it’s not the same thing.  This is a game and we PAY them for this.”

Maybe it is a game to us, but it is a job to them.

“X company is just greedy though.  They don’t care about their customers.  They only care about making money.”

Are you fully aware of the contradiction in that statement?  First off, all companies are in business to make money.  Businesses make money by gaining and retaining customers.  If you can’t gain customers and retain the customers you have, you won’t make money.  Yes, gaming companies are out to make money.  Gaming companies that don’t care about their customers don’t last long.  Quit being silly and quit acting like a child and maybe logic will take over.

“I just asked a simple question and I was banned/wasn’t given the answer I wanted/didn’t get my way.”

How did you ask?  Did you go on the offensive right away?  Did you actually listen to the explanation as to why you didn’t get your way?  Did it ever occur to you that they have rules that they must follow just as you have rules that you must follow at your job/school?  Did it ever even cross your mind that they could conceivably lose their job if they break the rules for you just because you think you are entitled to it?  Trust me on this… a raging self-important asshole takes a VERY distant back seat to following the rules, keeping your job, and being able to eat.  Hell, someone who treated me the way that some of these people are treated by the gamers wouldn’t get a bucket of piss out of me if I had it to spare.

My final thought on all of this is definately not a new thought.  Anonymity makes you brave.  Anonymity also, for some reason, makes you ignore the fact that the person you are currently abusing or smearing all over the web is a person just like you… a person who has feelings and who can get those feelings hurt by hateful words just as easily as you can.

For whatever reason, MMO communities have become driven by hate and drama the last few years.

You know what I would like to see?  I would like to see some little dick start flaming and abusing their favorite target of the month.  I would then like to see that target suddenly appear like Batman rushing out of the bat cave and say, “Fuck you, you little shit.  I just banned your account and deleted all of your toons.  I flagged your credit card information, billing information, and name.  You are now on the company shit list and will never again be allowed to play a game produced by us.  Take your inbred ass somewhere else.”

Then, as he calmly surveys the astounded masses who were egging on the flamer a minute ago, he turns into Ash, cycles the shells in his gun, and quietly asks, “Who wants some?”

I would laaaauuuuuuuugh!