Trimming the fat

I cancelled my second account again over the weekend.  I did it for a number of reasons.  The primary is that I am simply not playing very much any longer and, when I am playing, 2-boxing hasn’t even entered my mind.  I haven’t logged that account on for two months other than to use it to transfer lore items from toon to toon on my primary account since I couldn’t put those items in the shared bank.
 
I’m honestly not sure what is going on with me right now with regards to the game.  I spent a fairly large amount of time thinking about it over the weekend.  For the longest time, my routine was to log on a few hours after getting home from work every day and playing until I went to bed.  On weekends, I would quite literally play from the moment I woke up until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.  A couple of years ago, my play time reduced somewhat, but I was still playing a large amount of time.  It is safe to say that I spent more time online than I did anything else in my life except for working and sleeping.
 
A few months ago, my game time took a significant hit as I started to rejoin the living… taking on activities that involved being outside and around other people.  Since then, I have played less and less each week.
 
This past week, I think I logged on once… maybe twice during the week.  Those visits were only for a few minutes before logging off again.  This weekend, I started to follow what has become my routine lately.
 
For the last couple of months, I play on Friday nights from about 8 until 10.  On Saturdays, I wake up around 7 and go for a ride.  Somewhere between 10 and 11 when I get home and get cleaned up, I log on and pretty much play the rest of the day.  Sunday, I wake up around 7 and go to the grocery store.  Once I get home from the store, I log on and play for the rest of the day.
 
I started out with that routine this weekend, but things felt wrong from the start.  I logged on Friday night and almost immediately realized that I didn’t want to be online and logged off again.  I got home from my ride on Saturday, got cleaned up, and moved to the office.  I sat in the chair and stared at the computer.  In that moment, I realized that I would rather do nearly anything in the world other than log on, so I got up, went to pick up a friend, and we spent the day going to bike shops.
 
I tried to log on again Saturday evening and even made it long enough to get the 5% exp I needed to level my wizard from 78 to 79, but I did it by buying up collections because I didn’t want to play.  As soon as I had enough collections to level, I logged off.
 
Yesterday was much the same.  I logged on in the morning, realized I didn’t want to play, and logged off again.  I logged on several times throughout the day, but didn’t want to play and logged back off again.
 
I don’t know what is going on.  I think a big part is that I have a whole lot going on right now.  Most of it is of my own choosing, but it doesn’t leave a lot of time for gaming.  I have NaNo starting in a few days, I’ve started working towards my Cisco certification, I still have a few more big projects coming up at work that will require a lot of late nights, and I would honestly rather be sitting on my bike right now than sitting in the computer chair.
 
I’m sure things will settle down again and I’ll be back to playing more often and enjoying myself again, but I honestly believe that my days of playing every day and playing marathon sessions on the weekends are done for good.  I have started to remember what life is like outside of the confines of imaginary worlds and those imaginary worlds are simply less colorful and less enjoyable as a result.
 
As the chill of winter arrives, I know that I will continue to find warmth and comfort in my familiar escape… traveling through Norrath, but it is now a 3rd string hobby for me.  Ten years ago when I took my first steps into MMO’s, I never dreamed that I would still be playing 10 years later.  I also never dreamed that I would end up where I am now… feeling regret, frustration and a little bit of anger over how I let MMO’s take over.
 
You can’t make up for lost time, but you can work to keep from making the same mistake twice.  It took me 10 years (almost to the day.  My 10-year MMOversary hits this Thanksgiving) to realize that I was getting too swept up in this thing.
 
Now it is time for moderation.  I’m going to take a hit and I’m going to have to change how I play.  For the longest time, I was a raider.  Most of the time, I fell into the casual raider category, but even a casual raider has to spend a good bit of time keeping up with the level and AA curve, getting the best gear and spells they can, and learning encounters.
 
I’m not sure that my new approach will lend itself to raiding… even casually… any longer.  Time will tell on that one.  I may end up discovering that my new approach won’t even lend itself to realistically playing MMO’s and I’ll have to decide between my new loves and my old love.
 
For the first time in 10 years, I have no hesitation if it comes to that.  If I have to make a decision on how to spend my time, I’ll be thankful for the memories and all the wonderful people I met on the journey, but it will be time to hang up my adventuring boots for good.