Gestalt Mind

Calling it Done

Jarrod — Mon, 24 May 2010 14:43:59 +0000

My account is cancelled and the game is uninstalled. I gave it nearly half a year from when my interest died before I finally cancelled just in case I was simply in another phase of burnout, but that question has now been answered.

I have no other games and no interest in any other games out there, so my reasons for even throwing out the token update to this site from time to time are gone… so it seems this is also my farewell post.

And I find that I have nothing to say.

The Tarnished Path

Jarrod — Wed, 12 May 2010 18:36:45 +0000

I admit it. I don’t know the first thing about this so-called “Golden Path” that SOE is implementing in EQ2. I haven’t been keeping up with news, developer notes and chats, patch notes, and all that good stuff. I haven’t even been reading gaming blogs all that much and I certainly haven’t been in game much, so I honestly don’t know what exactly is going on.

Being completely clueless and totally out of the loop sounds like the perfect invitation to throw out my 2 cents.

Over the years, I have heard a lot of people saying that the level grind in EQ2 needs to be simplified. My guild leader has always been a vocal proponent for easing the leveling path.

I disagree… not because I’m some old cranky fuggar waving my cane in the air and screaming, “Back when I was a young adventurer, we walked to our quest hubs barefoot… in the snow… both ways… and we LIKED it!” I disagree because the leveling grind is already stupid easy. It isn’t hard. What it is is tedious… and there is a difference.

Now I realize that different people play in different ways and have different things that they enjoy. When it comes to the newbie stuff, I personally prefer the original (revamped) newbie islands. I’ll freely admit that I probably prefer them due to nostalgia, but I was pretty disappointed when I heard that they were getting rid of those islands completely. “It’s confusing to newer players.” Well, here’s a thought. Rather than burning down the entire building because you found a mouse, why not add a message to character select? If you pick to start in Qeynos or Freeport, have a message that pops up warning new players that this path might be more difficult and point them to your vaunted golden path? When you start eliminating options in an MMO and replace them with a connect-the-dots approach to playing, the game is no longer a free-world MMO. It’s a standalone game with a chat client.

I don’t know what all they are planning to remove with the next game update. I don’t know if it is just the newbie islands or if all of the little zones off of the hamlets will be removed as well. I’m hoping it is just the newbie islands.

One of the problems that I see in a lot of the newbie stuff they have released with various expansions and updates is that they seem to be losing sight of what makes the MMO experience so enjoyable for so many people. The original content came with newbie dungeons. I don’t remember if they were there at launch or added later, but you have the Wailing Caves (I think that is the name) in Qeynos and the Sunken City (again, I think that is the name) in Freeport. Get a few more levels and you get the Down Below in Qeynos and a comparable zone in Freeport. With Greater Faydark, Darklight Woods, and Timorous Deep, there are no dungeons to experience at lower levels. Instead, there is a straight course, follow the path quest structure that leads you around by the nose.

I guess even that wouldn’t be so bad if there was any substance to the quest lines. The trend for the last while seems to be to make the quest lines very verbose using tons of text in a poorly disguised attempt to make you forget the fact that yet another NPC is sending you out to kill ten rats. They might throw in a weak attempt at presenting an actual story by concocting a completely unbelievable tale of woe about how “rats killed my father,” but it all boils down to lazy quest design and poor writing skills.

Even the newer heritage quests, which have always been quests where you could count on getting some pretty decent storied tie-ins to EQ and pre-shattered Norrath, have become laughable in the laziness with which the developers approach the quests. There isn’t even an attempt at continuity any longer and the “new and improved” storylines come across as pathetic attempts to hide the fact that there seems to be little creativity left these days.

The worst part is that the problem appears to be getting worse rather than getting better. Rather than putting in an effort to make leveling fun, exciting and immersive, Sony has decided to instead do all they can do to take leveling out of the game completely by providing a clear-cut path. Just follow the numbers in order and you get to max level with minimal effort.

I guess we as gamers are simply too stupid to be given choices so from now on the game companies are going to tell us how to play, how to level and how to raid. Maybe they will also install a pop up message that will inform us of when we are having fun so we’ll know that as well.

Who Needs an Active Rao?

Jarrod — Thu, 06 May 2010 18:06:10 +0000

I find it amusing to look and see how the hits to this site have increased dramatically since I quit posting very often.

I wonder if I should be insulted by that?

Am I a Gamer?

Jarrod — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 17:27:06 +0000

It’s been a while so I thought I should check in.

I’ve been asking myself lately, “Am I still a gamer?” That leads me to further ask, “What constitutes the definition of being a gamer?”

I have considered myself a gamer since I was a young boy growing up. I cut my teeth playing games like Wizardry and Ultima. I progressed through those titles and moved on to the King’s Quest and Zork games. The early console systems never really interested me all that much (although I did play them) because I loved my fantasy games and the early consoles didn’t have many offerings along those lines.

I left computer games behind for many years, but in high school, I started back when I discovered Star Flight. From there I went to the Heroes of Might and Magic games followed by Warcraft 2 and, eventually Baldur’s Gate. Not long after my induction into the world of Baldur’s Gate, Everquest was launched and, since then, my gaming has been Everquest, Star Wars Galaxies, and Everquest 2.

It seems odd to me after so many years of gaming as my primary source of entertainment to be spending so little time doing so now. I don’t love games any less than I did. I simply have other things that I love more.

Gaming has developed over time into a serious time commitment. The leveling curve is less of a time sink than it once was, but when it comes to raiding, there is still far too much prep time involved and too much time required if you wish to raid. With the release of Sentinel’s Fate, that time requirement seems to have increased.

Between the armor sets, the resist sets, the AA sets, the potion sets, and the various other elements, I found a grind that I didn’t have a stomach for. Add in the server instability that has wrecked the game since the release of the expansion and, most notably, since the launch of the Battlegrounds and I have little desire for it any longer.

I’m not turning into one of those old-school gamers who blew too many years in a game and then woke up one day bitter and angry. I’m not about to dedicate my time to lashing out and talking about what a waste of time the last decade of my life has been.

I have had a great time playing. I have made some really great friends that I never would have made were it not for MMO’s. I have some great memories of times spent with those friends. I still get nostalgic for times and adventures that I remember and friends that I no longer see or hear from. I think back and I do believe that my life is richer and my perspectives are broader today than they were before I discovered the land called Norrath.

My personal world is simply moving in other directions these days. I have found something that I love more than I love gaming… something I would rather spend my time doing than sitting in front of a computer screen. And, most importantly to me, I am happier than I have been in a very long time.

That is not to say that I am no longer playing at all. I still do log on from time to time. In the last 3 weeks, my total online time is less than 5 hours cumulative, but I do pop in here and there. I don’t think that will change any time soon.

This expansion killed my desire to raid. It also killed my desire to gear up and turn my character into the best it can be. It isn’t to most people, but to my current direction of thinking, it is a supreme waste of time to worry about such things any longer… especially when I realize it will all become negligible with the release of the next expansion. For me, the destination has become truly and utterly pointless, so on the rare occasions that I do log on, it becomes solely about the journey. If I decide to spend my one session of the week sitting in a building in Qeynos and listening to the zone music, that is how I will spend my time.

If I am only playing for an hour per week, does that still make me a gamer?

I don’t know. I don’t even know if I consider myself one any longer. For that one hour per week that I do log on, I can’t even decide if I log on because I want to log on or if I log on because I want to talk to a couple of friends that I only talk to in game.

Perhaps I’m turning into an old retired adventurer who spends his days sitting in the tavern drinking away his coin and living for those moments when bright-eyed youngsters roam in so I can light the fires inside them with tales of my past deeds. When they roam out the door with the excitement of coming adventures in their eyes, I watch them wistfully and remember younger days. I wonder for a moment if I should pick up my sword and go for one last grand adventure, but then I feel the chill in my bones reminding me that my best years are behind me. I lift my ale in salute to the ghosts of my old comrades and to the youngsters who have taken up the cause and then return to my drink… fondly remembering the days where everything was fresh and new.

Shifting Priorities… Which Means Nothing

Jarrod — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 18:53:21 +0000

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has read this site for any length of time that my focus and attitude have shifted drastically over the last few months.

For the last 3 years (give or take), I have been all about EQ2. That is what I did in my spare time and I had nothing but praises to sing about the game. Lately, I have played less and less and my praises have turned to complaints. As I watch others who I read and/or play with, I see that my view of SF being a “crappy” expansion is certainly not the rule of the mob.

Which leaves my personal point of view.

The bottom line is that my priorities have shifted drastically over the last 6 months and, as a result, I no longer view gaming as the great way to spend free time that I used to.

The transition has been bumpy for me. Gaming has been my primary away from work hobby for over a decade now and dropping it has been like dropping any developed habit. I reach my normal log on time every night and I often find myself walking towards the computer whether I’m in the mood to play or not.

Instead of looking at gaming as that thing I want to do and look forward to every day, I now view it as that thing that keeps me away from doing what I want to do.

It’s almost like being a junkie. I have things that I want to do, but I sometimes don’t because I need to get my “gaming fix” even when gaming isn’t what I want to do.

Once the true realization set in, things got a lot easier. It all came to a head last night.

I got home from work and the wind was howling. I spent all day long thinking about how much I wanted to get out and ride my bike, but once the winds kicked up, I ‘resigned’ myself into a night of gaming instead.

When I started walking towards the computer, I am not making it up or exaggerating this… I started hearing the line from The Green Mile repeating over and over again in my head: “Walking the mile, walking the mile.”

It was then that I realized how stupid this all was. I wanted to ride. Who cares how hard the wind was blowing if it was something I wanted to do? Why was I moving in to play a game I didn’t really want to play when what I wanted to do was sitting right there?

And without another thought, I went to change into my riding clothes and headed out into the wind.

The ride was tough and tiring. The times I spent riding into the wind were grueling and exhausting… and I had a smile on my face the entire time.

It was then (with sweat pouring down my face, blowing dust sticking to my body, and my heart thundering in my ears from the effort of pedaling in near 40 mph winds) that I realized it was time to stop fighting it.

Gaming is no longer an important part of my life. It is a distraction and can be a welcome distraction, but it is time I realize that it is far from what it once was.

None of this matters really beyond the following: if I’m not going to be playing, I’m not going to have anything to talk about. I decided some time ago to separate out the two aspects of my life (gaming and riding) into 2 different blogs.

This blog will continue so long as I am gaming in some capacity, but the posts will most likely become very few and far between… maybe 1 post a week. If, when all the adjusting is done, I realize that I don’t want to play games at all any longer, I’ll make one final farewell post.

I’m simply starting to view gaming as you view an old high school friend that you haven’t seen in years. You run into them again one day and realize you have nothing in common any longer and really have nothing left to say. You are reluctant to write them off and say you aren’t friends any longer, but sooner or later, you have to admit that the memories of good times are all you have left and that the friendship died a long time ago.

When I think of quitting completely, my mind starts to race over all the years of enjoyment I’ve had playing games and I talk myself out of it. As soon as I log on, however, I start to wonder why I’m there and get frustrated that I can’t seem to find the enjoyment I once did.

Most likely, it is time to say goodbye but we’ll wait and see how the next couple of weeks go before making that final decision.

Not Much News

Jarrod — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 17:31:12 +0000

I haven’t posted for a while for a few reasons. First, and most importantly, I’m tired of complaining. The game is what it is and I can accept it or not. Second, I’ve been traveling a ton and have been too tired to spend any time trying to think of something to write. Third, I haven’t been playing… due in equal parts to #1 and #2.

I logged on Sunday for the first time in a week, but didn’t really do much. I ran one of the Bristlebane quests on my ranger just to get credit for doing it. My ranger is the only toon I’ve been keeping up with holiday events on this time around and he was only missing this holiday and Tinkerfest to get the Achievement for holiday events.

Maybe I’ll do it on other toons before they go away. We’ll see.

While I was in the middle of that, I got invited to start on some new bow HQ for SF. I went along and got a few steps done. A couple of the steps took place in the Hole which, believe it or not, was actually my first time to even step foot in the Hole. Once we finished the last step in the Hole, I logged off again.

I got back on briefly last night. I knew that my dirge was sitting at about 13% exp away from hitting 84, so I decided to knock that out. Maybe 30 minutes later, I dinged 84 and called it a night. My total game time for the weekend was about an hour and 15 minutes.

I don’t really think I’m on the verge of quitting. I think I’m simply in a state of flux where I’m trying to find my place again. Once I finish leveling my dirge, I have no doubts that I could probably jump right back into the thick of things with him, get all the groups I want, and always have a spot on a raid. I simply don’t know if I find that worth it or not.

Barring that, I’ll simply have to find my own way.

Confused flying monkeys

Jarrod — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 17:25:18 +0000

There are no monkeys in this post and no monkeys were harmed in the writing of this post.

So why the title? I’m glad you asked.

I don’t know.

How do you convey a moment of sublime and ultimate confusion coupled with the passage of time? As I pondered that question, this title sprung forth in a moment of giggling.

Maybe it is a sugar rush from the pop tart I had for breakfast.

I spent quite a bit of time this weekend asking myself, “What am I doing?” Despite all the time I devoted to that seemingly simple question, I am no closer to gleaning an answer than I was when I first asked it.

For the longest time, I railed against the pigeonhole I was in of being stuck playing a dirge. The class was okay, but there were certain things that simply drove me crazy.

For instance… resists. One of the things I was supposed to always concentrate on in groups and on raids was debuffs and yet, even fully mastered, I suffered a ton of resists on every fight. In groups, it was not uncommon for the mobs to be dead before I finally got all of my debuffs to stick. On raids, the mob would often be at 50% health before they landed.

There are other classes who have debuffs that help my dirge debuffs stick, but they often refuse to cast them. Why? “It hurts my parse to have to waste time debuffing.”

And so I was often left in growing frustration as I heard resist after resist land as I tried desperately to do my job.

And then, once the debuffs would finally land, I would almost always have bodies to rez. By the time the rezzing was done, the debuffs had cycled again and the whole process would start over. The amount of time I spent actually attacking was next to zero. My job was to run around like a crazy person behind the scenes and do the jobs no one else wanted to do.

Even later on, as we started getting other dirges, they would often attack. If someone died, they had to be told to rez. They rarely paid much mind to debuffs and, if they got resisted, they had a 1 strike rule. If it got resisted, it didn’t get recast.

I’m not casting blame or criticizing them. They have their play style and I had mine. I didn’t have any more right to tell them to change how they played than they had to tell me to change how I played.

Still, I grew to hate the part I was playing and tried everything I could to get free of it.

Eventually, of course, I did. I changed to my ranger and things were really good for a while. Too short a while, but still it was there.

I don’t know what it is, but I can’t seem to find my groove in Sentinal’s Fate. The parse watchers (of which I am not one) insist that my parses are still high and have not fallen off much from what they were pre-SF. That notwithstanding, I have found that my group invites, even among those I used to normally group with on a regular basis, got less and less until they eventually came to a screaching halt.

I can’t blame them either. If they see that a certain composition is needed for a zone and I don’t fit that spot, they aren’t going to ask me. And in spite of most blogs saying SF was the great equalizer that eliminates the need for specific group makeup, I have seen an increase in the amount of class discrimination. The calls for 2 healers, a dirge or troub, and an enchanter seems to have increased leaving only spots for a tank and a DPS class… and when you have a choice of an insane DPS wizard, a nearly as insane DPS assassin or a nearly as insane DPS swashie, the ranger isn’t going to get the nod.

I didn’t play at all on Friday. I traveled a lot last week and was completely wiped out. I was in bed by 6:30 Friday evening and didn’t emerge until mid-morning on Saturday.

When I finally logged on Saturday afternoon, I had the e-mail for the crafter signature quest on my ranger, so I worked through that waiting to see if any groups would form or need another. When none came, I logged over to my dirge.

One thing that really surprised me was that my dirge is having a MUCH easier time in SF than my ranger did. I still haven’t figured out where exactly the change occurred for the ranger, but he simply doesn’t seem to do near the damage he did a few months ago. The dirge, on the other hand, is ripping through mobs like they aren’t even there. If I was unable to change target, root, move, reposition, snare, pull a rabbit out of my hat kite mobs on the ranger, a single add was his death. On the dirge, I can have 3 or 4 adds and still come out with most of my health in tact.

I found it pretty funny too that around 7 Saturday evening, my dirge hit level 83. Within seconds of the message hitting guild chat, I had a group invite for a zone that I haven’t been able to buy my way into on my 90 ranger. The mobs were all too high for me and I couldn’t land a debuff all night, but more than one person told me, “I’m glad to see you playing the dirge again.”

And maybe I am. I don’t know if there is a spot for me in the guild on my dirge any longer as far as raiding goes, but it does seem to still be the toon of choice when it comes to grouping. “Better a low level dirge than a max level ranger” seems to be the mantra right now.

And honestly, with the troubles I have had with the ranger lately, I’m not sure I even disagree with that statement.

I still love the ranger. Of the classes I have played, he is still my favorite by a fairly wide margin. It is just too bad that he seems destined for the table of obscurity.

Is there a bottom?

Jarrod — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:47:44 +0000

I’m starting to wonder how far gaming companies will sink to make money. I read an article online this morning that talked about a new site where “lonely gamers” can pay via RMT for the priviledge of gaming for a few minutes with a real life honest to goodness female.

I can’t decide which is more pathetic… that someone is cashing in on and exploiting the fact that some people are socially awkward, that the gaming industry is now supporting the exploitation of their own target market, or that this service will most likely be successful.

A Little Breather

Jarrod — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 16:37:58 +0000

Nothing nefarious or temper tantrum inducing, but my gaming schedule is changing for a while… which will probably translate to fewer posts.

When I got home from work last night, I changed into my cycling gear, grabbed my road bike, and left the apartment. As I was riding, I started going over things in my head. Without consciously doing so, I started planning how to fit everything I wanted to do in between work and EQ. I didn’t find this odd in the least as this has been my thinking pattern for more than a decade. The conversation went something like this:

“I would like to put in at least 10 miles, but it all depends on the wind. I have less than an hour if I want to eat something for dinner and still get online no later than 7:30. I won’t be able to ride or play for the next three days due to work, so I need to make sure I get online and…” and the line of thinking went on from there focused completely on the game. I then started revising that whole thing for next week since I’ll be traveling a lot again next week and won’t be able to ride or play for most of the week.

Nothing in that struck me as the least bit odd until I reached the point where I was “out of time” and needed to head back home if I was going to stick to my schedule. I pulled to the side of the road and grabbed my water bottle. As I drank from the bottle, I started thinking about how great of a ride I was having and how I wish I had time to keep going.

It was only then that the total idiocy of the whole situation hit me. I sat there looking like a goof with a water bottle half raised to my mouth as comprehension finally dawned on me… I’m not enjoying EQ very much right now, I love being on my bike, spring has just arrived bringing warmer and longer days… why in the bloody freak am I trying to hedge my riding against getting online?

And with that, the decision was made. Until the winter rolls around again (and with the exception of days where conditions don’t allow for riding), being on the bike is my priority. It’s what I love and it’s what I want to be doing. EQ2 will just have to go on the way back-burner of only playing during free time on the weekends and on days where the weather doesn’t allow for riding.

I figure one of two things will happen as a result. Either I will miss playing and will start to view EQ2 in a gentler light and will be really anxious to play on days when I have the time or I’ll realize that I’m better off without playing at all and will call it quits.

Either way, I’m excited for spring and summer for the first time in many years because I finally have an outdoor activity to look forward to.

Once I made up my mind and made the obvious decision, I finally took a drink from the bottle and set off to ride some more. I got some strange looks from people I passed and realized that I had the goofiest smile on my face. I could have really confused people by telling them I was happy because I was riding my bike instead of killing shadow people, but why scare them more than they already were?

The good and the bad

Jarrod — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 15:34:35 +0000

The good news is that my ranger dinged level 90 last night.

The bad news is that there was no feeling of elation. It was more of annoyance followed by a feeling of, “now what.”

And I don’t have an answer.

I’m sick of ranting and have no desire to turn this post or this site into a rant site. Let’s just keep it simple and say that my current faith in SOE is at an all time low. My desire to grind AA’s, tradeskill levels or alts is pretty much nonexistent.

As a result, the moment I dinged 90, there was no feeling of accomplishment or of anticipation for things to come. It was more like the feeling I used to get back in school when I had just taken a final for a class that I had hated and had spent the entire semester thinking of dropping the class. I would finish the exam, drop it on the instructor’s desk, walk out of the classroom and never look back.

That is exactly the feeling I had last night when I got the message that I was now a level 90 ranger.

And much like that class, I gated to the guildhall, emptied my bags, camped, turned off the computer, and walked away. Like that class, today I find that I have absolutely no desire to log back on again because there is no other reason for me to do so. I don’t want to grind another toon. I don’t want to work tradeskills. I don’t want to grind AA’s. I don’t want to grind instance after instance for the new shards so I can get new gear so that I can raid for new marks so that I can buy new gear.

In short, I have no idea what happens next. My current knee-jerk response is that it is finally time for me to find a new hobby.